Officially, there are 3 days of summer left. This warm September morning the sun is so brilliant in a clear cloudless blue sky. Calm water with barely a ripple out on my river. My tiny hummingbirds are happily enjoying their sugar water. Someone down river has country music drifting up to me. A dog is barking up river with an occasional ship’s horn in the distance. Other than these remote sounds it is quiet this morning.
Yes, Autumn is fast approaching bringing chilly temperatures, crisp air and glorious colors in the trees. A time for pumpkins, spiced coffees and teas, campfires and s’mores, smiling kids in funny costumes awaiting treats, gratefulness in thanksgiving as we pause to give thanks for our multitudes of blessings. There is always a sadness in my summer heart as this season ends and the next begins. Heat is my biggest friend 🌞
My dear friend lost his brother in law last week. In a matter of 10 days cancer was discovered and he passed on. Just that quickly lives changed. A father, husband and relative was gone. Just as the seasons keep changing so too our lives. The older I get the faster the changes seem to be coming.
This journey of life passes so very quickly. Do take time to savor each and every day and season. Each season has its beauty. Change is guaranteed. As for me, today, I will enjoy this beautiful summer day.
Love and light to each of you ❤️🪷🪷🪷 Take a minute and breathe in joy today wherever you are in your personal season🌺🌻
I read in a card once, “Time and tide wait for no man”. Make the most of this season and don’t wait for things or others…live today🌞
A few years ago my daughter gave me an exquisitely beautiful, blown glass, hummingbird feeder. About to give up on seeing any of the precious little creatures this year, one tiny being has finally shown up. Oddly, just one. In previous years a handful would jockey for position and a chase would ensue. This little guy has my feeder all to himself .
Sitting as still as I possibly can I watch as he flutters around then alights to drink the sugar water. If I move much he wisks away. Yesterday morning as I sat with my coffee, feeling the warm sun on my face and basking in the glow of glittering sunshine across the water, he appeared.
Somehow in watching this beautiful little bird I was reminded of how we must appear to God. He lovingly provides for us and watches in pure love as we enjoy His gifts. Most of the time we are not even aware of all that we are gifted and that it is from our Creator. We flutter away in fear if we feel Him too close. It would never cross my mind to harm this vibrant little being. The God of all creation rejoices over us and would never harm us yet we are mistrusting. His gentle hand is always there…feeding us…singing over us in joy..and our water never runs dry. My glass container becomes empty at times like my bird feeder, fragile and needing to be refilled… in my quiet times He refills me with His unfailing love and mercy that is new every morning.
Take time today to alight and drink from the well that will never run dry! On this journey of life He is always with us❤️. Much love and light to you🌺🌞
There are mornings when I am so overwhelmed with creation’s majestic beauty I simply cannot form words!
Gratitude: The state of being grateful; warm and friendly feeling toward a benefactor; kindness awakened by a favor received; thankfulness.
Yes, that feeling toward my creator, the ultimate benefactor. Such favor. I think this is the feeling of soul overflow. So incredibly grateful that I am lost in the myriad of emotions flooding through me.
Waves against the small sea wall from the passing boat further enhances that feeling. Cicadas singing along with the crickets hum and birds belting out their joy…a perfect morning. Unusually cool days for August have made sitting out here in the mornings quite enjoyable.
Fall is in the air and rapidly approaching. Crisp air, like this morning, will replace the languid sultriness of summer (which I love) but bringing with it the explosion of autumn’s palette. Every season has its own distinct beauty. Grateful for each of those season specific God sitings.
Being still and just breathing in creation in all its grandeur…take a minute on this holiday weekend to be still and just observe all that surrounds you . Have a safe and beautiful Labor Day weekend my friends! Much love and light to you🪷🪷🪷
Being the absolute staunchest believer in …there are no coincidences in life…just divine appointments…today’s note(actually as are all of them) comes from that place.
So much has whipped through my tornadic mind in the last 24 hours I’m not sure I can get it all out!!!
First I will start by saying the last 3 months of soul searching has paid off in the last day. Quite strange at this juncture in life things are finally coming together in my ever searching quest to find my place.
Two sleepless nights of, one crying and the next berating myself, led to peaceful rest today. A very dear, long distance, friend got hammered with my venting and maudlin rhetoric late yesterday. I’m sure he was sorry he started listening but was a good sport in it all. No judgement just an encouraging soul.
My Beach-Zen partner was out of town for 2 days and I felt completely alone in dismantling our show load from the previous evening. My frustration in, how dare you have a life when your muscles are needed right now. I’m trying to start accepting that when one tells me they will help soon as they can…it just might not coincide with my time table…relaxing is difficult for me to say the least…(an endless work in progress🫣). Hurting my arm a few months ago has slowed down my “forget it I’ll do it myself” attitude.
Back to my coincidences… when a quote or verse repeatedly shows up…I take notice with an, Ahhh, I see where God is going with this…
Fear is What if
Faith is Even if
Let that sink in… took me the 4th time of seeing it”pop up” to really hear its message.
Leaving a somewhat secure and mostly stable job 3 months ago was definitely a game changer (once again). My road less traveled churned up again. Desperately needing to be out of the high stress, performance based, daily grind of that atmosphere…I stepped back out in faith to, “go it on my own”, again. Having done that for 23 years prior it was not as scary as it might have been. This last week I was suddenly overtaken with “what if “, that was a mistake and there isn’t enough work…but God is such a better boss to work for. I knew I needed a respite to stop a few months and “Just be…. You know practice what I preach”.
In my rant last night I said my mind was “just mud”. I have never once referred to my monkey mind as “mud” before. The lotus came to mind in selecting an icon for Beach-Zen. They always come from mud..fighting their way out of that muck..,to rise up and bloom to such exquisite beauty!!! The online service I listened to this morning…you guessed it…fear is what if and faith is even if. The book I bought months ago from Brene Brown, Braving the Wilderness, just “happened to be” on the top of my pile of books.
Always, having felt like an outsider, I could relate to every word I was reading. She quotes from Maya Angelou, about not belonging anywhere or to anyone. I belong to myself.
So in this long diatribe …there it is…I belong to myself … nowhere and everywhere…
If you are searching for purpose or to belong …pick up her book. “Braving the Wilderness “. I know without a doubt at least one person out there needed to hear this today!
Always remember, “No mud, no lotus “, you are beautiful exactly in who you are!!! Sending love and light to you today 🪷🪷🪷
And yes, I will wait for the muscles to help with the last of the heaviest pieces for tomorrow 😊. My faith in the, “even if”, is in the one who created me and is with me in and through it all…keep your eyes focused on Him…or as Joel Osteen’s, book says…if you want to walk on water…you have to get out of the boat… walking on water and enjoying the beautiful lotus floating atop it today 🪷🪷🪷
Several years ago a wonderful client of mine moved to Albuquerque. She graciously had me out to do some decorating there and visit for a week. During our visit she and her husband took me to Sedona. Truly a bucket list trip. Scenic does not begin to describe the majestic beauty of that landscape! No words can even begin to describe what I saw and felt there. Otherworldly comes to mind. As I sat on those outcropping of rocks I removed my shoes. It felt like holy ground. Never before had I beheld such a rugged ethereal place. After Sedona, she and I went to Santa Fe. What a treat to go to the Georgia O’Keefe museum there. As they were setting up for an exhibit, we were allowed to go to a part that few ever get to visit. Her sketch books, artist brushes and value studies. As an artist, I have always been enthralled with her work and its detail. To say I was excited to view her personal tools of the trade is an understatement. I did not get the chance to visit Ghost Ranch, but that will hopefully be another trip. One thing in particular struck me in her thoughts was, “take time to look…”. Along with all the stones I had picked up there, I purchased a rock with that saying on it.
This morning, as I opened the draperies in my room, I was struck with the most incredible sunrise. Having just broken the horizon there was an enormous red ball of breathtaking sun. I thought of that rock that sits on some antique books in the living room, along side of the kaleidoscope I bought in Santa Fe. Take time to look…. I sat back in bed for a half hour just looking.. the sun, its rays and the incredibly cool breeze that was blowing in. Yes, a God moment. Grateful does not come even close to what I was feeling. Sometimes words definitely fail me.
How much of God’s creation and beauty do we miss daily because we do not stop and “take time to look…” . Today, take that minute, be aware of all that is around us that truly is majestic miraculous beauty. It’s there. Choose happy today. Much love and joy coming your way ❤️!!
Ruach is the Hebrew word for “breath of God“. Genesis 1 says, “the earth was without form and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.” His Spirit is translated from “Ruach” His breath or wind was over the waters .
Recent months the stirring restlessness that was in me, to push me out of my comfort zone, was calmed this week. I sincerely have sought God’s breath of life…Ruach…and there was a crack in my resistance. Nothing like the possibility of cancer returning to grab your attention. Ok, ok I’m listening…..
Meeting with 2 prayer healers, being still before the Lord, gave clear insight to a closing door . As of yesterday, I am once again 100% self employed.
I had a printed paper sign on my fridge for the last several years, “if you aren’t scared your dream isn’t big enough”. I shared with the friend who asked this morning, “How’s day 2 going?” I remembered that paper and replied that possibly for the first time ever, I am happy with my life and tracking…. Having been so busy with everyone and everything else I’m not sure I ever really had a dream (except a porch swing) and one is now in place. (I don’t know can you manifest a porch swing? guess I’d need the porch first🧐).
Today I gave myself permission to rest. A podcast or 2 and getting a bit organized. The gray rainy day with windows and doors open letting in its gentle sound has been perfect. Being present is always difficult but today I am doing it. Being. Listening. Hearing. No regrets of yesterday or fretting over tomorrow but here solely.
Drastic change is coming and I will embrace the opportunities that ensue. Today I am still.
If there are places in your heart you are feeling a restless nudge…pay attention…it just might be a change is needed. Open to it prayerfully and then be still and listen! It took a health reminder to get me to stop and pay attention. The “all clear “ was me getting a second chance to get up and change things.
Life’s journey is so short. If change is needed do it now while there is still time. He’s got you always.
I see you in this clear days sparkling sun across the waters
In the gentle clouds floating effortlessly across cerulean skies
The swaying trees as your quieting breeze passes through
The way my curtains billow into the room as the springs soft wind comes through my doors
The glint on the perfectly formed spider web on my porch
You are speaking…
Always my gentle cooing doves..perhaps the sweetest of all
The way the scent of mid spring honeysuckle brings such delight to my senses
A field of yellow flowers on my back roads shortcut
Verdant greens of the lawn from my deck view
Mom and dad goose paddling by with their little brood between them
You are speaking….
Long shadows cast from my deck rails
Cicadas humming
Seagulls diving for fish out on the river
The train rumbling in the distance reminding me of my childhood home
The waterfall babbling over the stones into the koi pond
Yes, You are speaking ….
I’m reading a book by Mark Batterson, “Whispers..how to hear the voice of God“. He talks about those who say miracles do not happen any longer….the fact that today I could see, hear, smell and sense all these things are beyond a doubt miracles all around me. Every book I’ve read of his is divinely sent.
I am listening….
Life’s journey is certainly messy at times. I await the call to see what my biopsies show this time. Either way, I was present today and observed just a small part of the miraculous beauty surrounding me. I breathed in Spring’s rebirth and it was magnificent. Stop a minute and feel all your senses this Spring. Til next time…namaste 🪷🪷🪷
Sitting here watching the colors of the sky and water change every minute in this beautiful sunrise my heart is so heavy. The verse “weeping may last for a night…but joy comes in the morning “, flashes through my weary mind. Joy. I need that. This has been my soul… my soul…my being the last few days….and I hear these words…
Hard sucker punch out of nowhere…I Am here
While bowed over trying to breathe from the hit..kicked in the teeth…I Am here
Lying on the ground and bleeding, a step on my throat with my heart ripped out and thrown back at me…I Am here
How is the heart still actually beating…while I cry myself to sleep every night…I Am here
Life! Fighting for the very air to breathe in some days…I Am here
Joy…where are you ..have you ever really existed..I Am here
Emotions. Just turn them off they say…How do I do that and stop caring…I Am here
And so I stop and see and hear the great I AM!
Birds are singing their morning hallelujahs to the coming day…the sweet doves sing their solos…the purples, oranges, pinks and reds streak the sky and water…I Am here…
Stop, listen and really hear…I Am!
My job is on the line. A big chance my cancer may be back. My heart is broken. I can’t seem to find oxygen right now. Aging which I was unceremoniously reminded of this week. I desperately need to be hugged and held while I cry. Yes, life…I Am here
Where is the joy…hear the birds singing. Watch My majestic sunrise over the water . Calm your soul. I AM here and I hold you while you cry. I bottle all your tears.
Life is a fight and the verse comes to mind, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy ladened and I will give you rest Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.
Nothing is resolved right now. I will always be emotion with skin on it..part of my being. Emotions that are hard to handle but that is what also gives my heart the abounding compassion for all those around me..what causes my heart to cry at other’s pain..what causes me to weep at the beauty of the sunrises and sunsets…that allows me the vulnerability to cry out for help that also lets others know someone else feels these same hurts and but can’t share them for fear of being judged.
Life’s journey is hard but also has beauty. As I continue to seek answers and work through the pain of current issues I will also remember who ultimately is the one who loves and holds me while I cry… I AM here.❤️
As I sit alone on this Easter morning quietly remembering when my children were small. Dyeing eggs on Saturday and the raucous excitement Easter morning before church finding their baskets filled with candy and small toys. Hunting the eggs the bunny had hidden throughout the house. The absolute joy on their small faces. Settling them for breakfast and getting them ready and dressed for church. After church enjoying Easter dinner before they were out in the yard hiding eggs and enjoying that innocence of childhood.
Many things have changed since those decades past, as they should. My son has gone on home to heaven with my parents and grandparents. My daughters are in New Orleans, where they were born, with their dad’s family this weekend burying their dad’s ashes with his parents and brother. Sobering moments for them saying their final earthly goodbyes to their dad with his family.
I have sat alone on many holidays these past few years. Always remembering the joys of holidays gone by with my children. They have families of their own now creating the memories they will one day remember fondly.
This journey of life with its joys and sadness continues on. Sunrises…sunsets…rain and gray..bright sun and swirling puffy white clouds…blue skies so beautiful it is overwhelming to the senses… tides in and out as we recall and keep moving.
The magnificent scent of my new gardenia is permeating the room as the wind from the sliding door brushes across it. I will sit a few more moments ruminating over Easter’s past… just remembering… then carry on with my day.
As today unfolds I will also remember the One who gave it all so I can also remember that one day I will hug my parents and my son once again. This journey is a blip compared to eternity. Be sure you know the One who Easter is all about.
Sitting here with morning coffee watching the sun glitter across the river is soothing to my weary soul. Today begins “that” week. I am so grateful that the sun is shining on this frigid morning as the gray would take me under. Trying still, after 10 years, to make sense of things..life..death..loss…purpose…with all the books out there…dozens of which I have read…apparently a lot of people struggle with these things as well. As this week unfolds the dates fall on the same days they did that horrific week 10 years ago. My anxiety and depression that clings to me worsens on this week.
Danny Gokey’s song, Tell your heart to beat again, has played through my mind daily this past week. It has been consistently in my mind for the past decade now. Some of the lines that say, “Beginning, let that word wash over you. It’s all right now, love’s healing hand has pulled you through. Get back up, take step one, leave the darkness, feel the sun. Let the shadows fall away step into the light of grace.”
So many broken hearts across our world. In our brokenness if we can find that moment,if only a few minutes, to “step into the light of grace”, to feel the sun shining on our faces and take one more step, one more breath.
Oh, sweet friends, there is healing in His light of grace. Keep holding on and breathing that one more breath..one more beat of your precious heart..
On those days when you have to tell your heart to beat again, close your eyes and breathe it in..His love has carried us this far and will continue to do so. Our journeys have just begun each and every time.
So on this week when I recall the moment my earth ceased to turn I will take that moment…to let the shadows fall away and again step into His light of grace.
Sending so much love and light to you❤️🪷🪷 like that beautiful lotus we too can rise and radiate beauty into our worlds.
Reflections on Life’s Journeys 