It’s a process…I need to be writing..I need to be emailing past design clients..I need to be exercising…I need to be eating properly (yet I want a Dr Pepper)…I need to finish that cabinet that’s been sitting in the middle of the floor for a YEAR…I need to do the paperwork on my desk….I need to be cleaning,..need…need..need…Argh! Just STOP!!!!
Do you ever feel this way? The monkey is off and swinging tree to tree… nowhere fast! All these things and yet here I sit staring blankly into space…stuck! I’m tired, no I’m exhausted..full mind blowing exhaustion. Not the physical kind the mind soul numbing kind. The monkey fell from a tree and landed in a gooey quagmire kind! The creative piscean monkey brain…that messy place where my head lives.
If I could nicely just step outside of my head for only a day I could likely sort things out. Oh that it was a possibility.
One of my coaches once shared, when I was spiraling, to step back and see where I was coming from and look at the challenge from more perspectives. Sometimes experiencing the same thought pattern from a different angle is eye opening. For instance, instead of my warp speed brain feeling like a failure of mine to look at it as a form of high creative intelligence. In that instance the quagmire feels more exciting than debilitating.
Perhaps today I can focus a minute on each of those “needs” and instead view them as “opportunities “. What might you do or see differently if you stepped back from what you perceive as a negative and turned it to a chance to grow stronger? Instead of “waiting for the other shoe to drop “ you just find another pair of shoes.
In my particular life journey…my creative process…my pouting about the injustice of my life (from my own questionable choices), followed by pacing about channeling through options available… leads to the canvas. Sometimes it’s the actual canvas to pick up my brush and apply the colors from the tubes and sometimes it’s the canvas of my life. That canvas I seem to continue to paint over and start on again…but therein is the beauty…I can choose another color, another design. In my case probably an abstract rather than a still life(not a lot of monkeys in anything still).
You know, God is still painting my story. It’s His creative hand holding the brushes I keep trying to take back…it is time to relinquish my grip on the brush and give it back to the master creator. He neither paces or pouts… just beautiful majestic paintings. Our lives in all their majestic messy glory!
Think I’ll head to the studio now 🙌🏻🐒🎨
Reflections on Life’s Journeys 