Being the absolute staunchest believer in …there are no coincidences in life…just divine appointments…today’s note(actually as are all of them) comes from that place.
So much has whipped through my tornadic mind in the last 24 hours I’m not sure I can get it all out!!!
First I will start by saying the last 3 months of soul searching has paid off in the last day. Quite strange at this juncture in life things are finally coming together in my ever searching quest to find my place.
Two sleepless nights of, one crying and the next berating myself, led to peaceful rest today. A very dear, long distance, friend got hammered with my venting and maudlin rhetoric late yesterday. I’m sure he was sorry he started listening but was a good sport in it all. No judgement just an encouraging soul.
My Beach-Zen partner was out of town for 2 days and I felt completely alone in dismantling our show load from the previous evening. My frustration in, how dare you have a life when your muscles are needed right now. I’m trying to start accepting that when one tells me they will help soon as they can…it just might not coincide with my time table…relaxing is difficult for me to say the least…(an endless work in progress🫣). Hurting my arm a few months ago has slowed down my “forget it I’ll do it myself” attitude.
Back to my coincidences… when a quote or verse repeatedly shows up…I take notice with an, Ahhh, I see where God is going with this…
Fear is What if
Faith is Even if
Let that sink in… took me the 4th time of seeing it”pop up” to really hear its message.
Leaving a somewhat secure and mostly stable job 3 months ago was definitely a game changer (once again). My road less traveled churned up again. Desperately needing to be out of the high stress, performance based, daily grind of that atmosphere…I stepped back out in faith to, “go it on my own”, again. Having done that for 23 years prior it was not as scary as it might have been. This last week I was suddenly overtaken with “what if “, that was a mistake and there isn’t enough work…but God is such a better boss to work for. I knew I needed a respite to stop a few months and “Just be…. You know practice what I preach”.
In my rant last night I said my mind was “just mud”. I have never once referred to my monkey mind as “mud” before. The lotus came to mind in selecting an icon for Beach-Zen. They always come from mud..fighting their way out of that muck..,to rise up and bloom to such exquisite beauty!!! The online service I listened to this morning…you guessed it…fear is what if and faith is even if. The book I bought months ago from Brene Brown, Braving the Wilderness, just “happened to be” on the top of my pile of books.
Always, having felt like an outsider, I could relate to every word I was reading. She quotes from Maya Angelou, about not belonging anywhere or to anyone. I belong to myself.
So in this long diatribe …there it is…I belong to myself … nowhere and everywhere…
If you are searching for purpose or to belong …pick up her book. “Braving the Wilderness “. I know without a doubt at least one person out there needed to hear this today!
Always remember, “No mud, no lotus “, you are beautiful exactly in who you are!!! Sending love and light to you today 🪷🪷🪷
And yes, I will wait for the muscles to help with the last of the heaviest pieces for tomorrow 😊. My faith in the, “even if”, is in the one who created me and is with me in and through it all…keep your eyes focused on Him…or as Joel Osteen’s, book says…if you want to walk on water…you have to get out of the boat… walking on water and enjoying the beautiful lotus floating atop it today 🪷🪷🪷
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Reflections on Life’s Journeys 