No Solace….

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When life makes no sense…when God makes no sense…

Just when things might possibly be getting better..a glimmer of hope…then blindsided from yet another direction…prayers seem to hit the ceiling then crash back down on your head….

How much loss can you take …how can there possibly be more tears erupting from your soul…the empty aching soul.

There are no answers ..when God is silent…just silent…He is there I’m just sure of it..but oh so silent.

Sometimes there are just no answers. One step at a time is not even possible. When the next breath seems impossible how can there be a step…still no answers…

For the first time in 3 years I cannot even find a shred of solace in my water sanctuary. Last night it was empty just empty. This morning more loss and pain compounded the emptiness. Looking at this beautiful blue sky and the sun sparkling across this water…nothing…serenity is not to be found ..

My soul feels only chaos, loss and desolation. On this day I’m not sure why the sun is shining when within it is dark, tumultuous and dying.

I should be painting…looking for work…moving…in any direction and searching for the good..yet here I sit paralyzed in fear and now today more anguishing grief.

Where ARE you God? I know you are there SOMEwhere…watching but still so silent….soooo silent.

Presently I see no answers….anywhere…no relief in sight…todays loss there IS no relief possible…the other issues remain…

There must be some good out there but today, as with the past weeks, it is lost in the shadows.

This journey of life is certainly ever changing…bad choices of the past that must be dealt with…aching losses that you have zero control over…searching to find a place to simply breathe.

There are absolutely no answers or directions right now..,so for today..,just today..,this hour…this minute..perhaps just this second…I will stop striving…stop thinking…just one breath ..then one more breath…today I will just be…let go….wait for God to show up…praying and hoping today is that day the silence is broken.

If any of you are feeling any of these things…one breath..then one more…I feel your hurts…your angst…the sun is there …the blue skies…not in the visual scope but your souls depths …it IS there I promise

God is there…

Until there are answers and directions ..,keep breathing.., you are loved…love does not pay the bills or replace the losses..but it is what we have to give and share…keep life tolerable in our dark nights of the soul… I send you love today as always❤️🪷🪷

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Published by reflectionsonlifesjourneys

My profession is an Interior Designer and Artist. My passion is my family and friends of whom without…life would hold zero meaning! Growing up in a small southern town life was definitely sheltered from the outside world. As an adult I very quickly began to understand that life’s journey is complicated and not always pleasant. These are the ponderings of my heart since the loss of my sweet son, Jonathan. Sometimes deep and sometimes very dark they are from my soul’s depths to somehow let others know they are not alone in the dark nights of the soul. These are the reflections on my life’s journey. Prayerfully I hope they help any hurting heart.

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