Today is my sons birthday. Over the last 6 years I have wondered many times what his life would have been had that accident not taken him from our lives. If in those last moments he had not turned onto that icy road and taken another route home. How very different all our lives would be today. Those decisions whether long range or in an instant thought…how they affect everyone in our sphere.
In my usual pondering spot here on the water today I feel neither sad nor happy…just in a state of being and thinking. Wondering, not obsessively, just playing the spin of…if this…then that. What if??
Many many things I have learned about myself, in this time frame, that I would never have learned otherwise. How very fragile and short life is…take no day or minute for granted. Be present in every moment even if it’s just sitting and looking at the beautiful sky and water. Be there..in it…I realized how difficult that is for me to do. Also learning not to take everyone’s opinion of my life to heart when it comes to doing what I feel is best for me and it’s ok to feel what I feel.
Loss changes you..some for the better..some not so great..in learning to take the not so great and turn it around you find something in there that resonates with your heart and a way to understand yourself better. Perhaps the “not so great” really is great after all. It’s you on every level that needs to be heard…
This roller coaster journey called life is taking all the pieces, good and otherwise, and creating the beautiful mosaic that is us. Sometimes it’s a kaleidoscope of beautiful colors as well. My son’s life mosaic is beautiful and I remember all those pieces of him today that created it…happy birthday Jonathan…I miss you and wish your mosaic could have continued to grow ….❤️❤️
Reflections on Life’s Journeys 