Letting go….

I am light

I am warmth

I am sun

I am calm waters

Sitting by the river….

Sunlight on the water like golden glitter

The calmness of the water mirrors my broken heart—

No longer turbulent just quietly broken

No longer searching just sad

Not engaging – just observing

Sitting with it and observing

Have I given too much away – maybe

Have I loved far too deeply – possibly

Where do I fit and belong – no answers

Should giving from the core of my soul be quelled – remains unanswered

Not engaging – just observing

To finally have loved with my heart’s wild abandon with everything believing all the words and actions that were given and then to have it casually handed back to me with just “No thank you, I’m sorry but no, thank you “

Confused ..crushed ….broken

Do not engage just observe

Heart questions… no answers..no closure

I am lost on this day but somehow content

Not engaging – just observing

Life was not meant to be observed but to be fully engaged

Perhaps in a shattered state ..a time out..observing and letting go

Watching the sadness and brokenness float away down the river

Right now in this moment….

I am light

I am warmth

I am sun

I am calm waters

The birds are engaged in their boisterous melodic songs

Warm wind is whipping my hair

Mallards are squawking

The brokenness and pain feels somehow absorbed out here on the dock into the flow of the river

Perhaps it is in these warm winds promising the coming of the summer sun that the letting go is beginning

Letting go to live once again….

Like the endless flow of the river

Decades of heart pain…flowing away

I am light

I am warmth

I am sun

I am calm waters

It is yours God…it always has been