Waves

There’s something about watching the waves rush in then glide back out. Quite calming when the waters are tranquil and quiet. Then not so much when they are rough and the sea is roiling.

So much of life’s journeys are like those waves. Those moments when we just want to bury our toes in the cool on the edge of the hot sand. Letting our thoughts and emotions run in and out with the gentle waves. Staring into a sunrise or sunset and feeling one with the enormous scheme of things in our great cosmos. Yet so small in that big picture. Small but knowing we matter.

Yet when that same beautiful calm blue water begins to turn dark and murky with shades of gray and begin to churn and roil in all directions it becomes disturbing and at times frightening. We are, in those moments, small, insignificant and helpless against those strong pulling currents. At those times do we give in and fall prey to the angry waves wanting to suck us out into the cold and darkness or do we bolster ourselves against them with a resolve so great they cannot cause us to succumb.

I’ve felt both that calm serenity and the overwhelming fear of being pulled under into a dark so dismal there appears to be no way out. As the 4th anniversary of my son’s death approaches that wave of deep, earth shaking grief threatens to drag me in and back into the abyss of utter despair. Listening to him on video this morning sing one of his favorite songs, John Mellencamp’s, “Between a Laugh and a Tear”, I cried uncontrollably before I could regain any semblance of quiet. He would hate this for me. His laughter and love is what he wants me to hold onto.

So today I will concentrate on and take my mind to those gentle soothing waves. Trying to recall and accept the calming that the breathing in and out of the waves rhythms brings.

Life’s journeys continue as must we all to remember what has been lost but more importantly what we have gained in what we have learned in that loss.

Let the gentleness of the calming waves soothe your soul today as they are mine. The resolve to remember the love and laughter is far greater that the despair of loss. This I know is what Jonathan wants for me and he sends his strength to bolster me.❤️