The trip back to St Maarten was so exciting. For weeks I had feared it would not come to pass. Finally on the plane I relaxed I was actually going to get that much longed for return visit. Quick trip to the grocery store to stock the kitchen for the week and off for fresh lobster on the beach. A beautiful end to the day sitting by the pool and watching the amazing show of stars play across the sky. A quick note off to my daughter and a humorous picture of a monkey in a karate suite back from my hysterically funny son. Yes it was a perfect day and set up for the coming week.
Just a few short hours after my funny picture from my son….his life ended on an icy road back home in Maryland. He hit ice, over corrected and died instantly when his car collided with an electrical pole. That was the report I got from the police officer days later.
It took my daughter hours to get through to tell us the devastating news. He died at 1:21 and it was after 8:30 before I received the news…the earth ceased to turn that morning and life as I had known it would never be the same again.
I looked out on the bright sunshine beaming across the deep blue ocean…it was like golden glitter sparkling on the gentle waves. It was beyond my comprehension how there could be such glorious beauty when my life ceased to make sense.
As a parent there is always that tiny fear that hides away in the mind “What if”. The moment it crashes into your brain there is shut down. There’s simply no words that can describe the numbing anguish that washed through me! It is now 3 1/2 years later and the part that died along with him that night, I now know, will never be alive again. High functioning at best but always the grief lies shallowly below the surface.
Jonathan was one of the funniest people to ever have graced this ball of earth. He made people cry with laughter and hated anyone to feel down. People felt better for having known him. Countless friends and people I never knew have shared how he changed their lives. He was a good man and a good father. His daughter was 5 when he left us.
On those moments when I again see that brilliant sunlight beaming down through the clouds….I see his radiant smile breaking through the clouds to remind us he is still here and watching over us.
He would be 41 now and is still making us laugh when we recall his antics and just pure silliness. You are gone from us physically my son but forever with us in spirit. I miss you every second of every day ❤️
Reflections on Life’s Journeys 